The cloud is lifting...

A giant dark cloud has been over my family since last Thursday.   The last 3 days or so have been some of the lowest days of my life.  So many tears shed, so many emotions.  

BUT...I have decided to:  pick up chin, put my big girl panties on and... DEAL WITH IT!  Really, what choice do I have.   My children need me, my husband really needs me.  We are dealing with a major setback as best as we can.   Even though Ava is not far from my thoughts...the reality is, she is not here.  She is being well taken care of and is growing bigger every day.  God has provided a special friend for her, which I am SO grateful for.  I have to live in the HERE and NOW with my two precious children.  The show must go on... 

The cloud was a little smaller this morning when I woke up.  I see the sun peaking out a little.   We have planned  a small getaway, just the 4 of us.  We are going to concentrate on loving each other.   These days are precious.  I love the summer with the kids.  We will plan a little more since we will be home most, if not all, of the summer.

Only God knows when Ava will be coming home.  We may pass court the next time and we may fail again.  Either way,  I need to be prepared.  I am just not sure how to do that.    I will continue to surrender my fears and emotions to my creator, Ava's creator.  I find comfort that He is still watching my little sparrow-- Thank you Jesus!